杨安

The Dead

“Yes，Fingon's death definitely amused me,” Glorfindel said to Bilbo, “He looked like some new flavour of toothpaste. No he did not look like gingerbread man, I cannot believe you just said that in the House of Elrond. Me? Well of course I'm allowed to say it, am I not related to Kings on my mother's side?

"I did see Fingon again in Valinor, where he walked under the shadow of trees with Fingolfin,for they are visiting Maedhros and Feanor in the Hall of Mandos. It was hard at first, for the toothpaste scenario was vivid on my mind, but they insisted on wearing blue and white, and more I cannot say for fear of sounding blasphemous...Of course I like Valinor, it is my home. But I can see my doom coming near, and know that I will not see it again.

"Do not lose hope, dear Hobbit, I believe we will win the war, even if Elrond think else-wise...Ah, I have always been an optimist...Yet even if we win the war I foresee that Cirdan will build the last ship that will sail from the Middle-Earth, and he will take with him the fair lady of Lothlorien, and Gandalf my dearest friend, and Elrond my last lord, and the fairest people of this land will fare into the West, but I will not be among them."

"You want to know why? Well I guess I should tell you my reasons, seeing this may be the last serious talk I have with you, but I do not think you will have a chance to write it in that book of yours. Three days ago the Fellowship set out from Rivendell. We that reside will have work to do before long. The sons of Elrond ride out tomorrow and I will go with them, and the clear bells of Asfaloth shall ring, and it will sound like thunder to the ears of our enemy."

"Let me first tell you of the beauty of Valinor, for I am one of the few on Middle-Earth now that have seen the light of the Two Trees, and I have dwelt long on both sides of the Sea. The beauty of the Blessed Realm is clear like snow and the beauty of its people burns like fire, the harbours blaze with diamonds and pearls, and the trees cast shadows cool and sweet as running water. Yet my heart hungers there. I perceive that Valinor is like a piece of amber where all things beautiful are preserved, but there is no growth. For the power of growth belongs to Men, whereas in the Firstborn Children of Eru there is the power of endurance. 

"I came to Middle-Earth not unwillingly, though I took no part in kin-slaying and counseled Turgon against rash actions. My heart longed to see something other than the static beauty of Aman, and the ice of Helcaraxë did not quench the fire of my spirit. Thus out of the sea I came, and I loved this land, and I would choose to abide here. I rode into battle, not for wrath or oaths, but to protect what I held dear on this good earth. Here I saw things that surpass all Valinor has to offer, and I saw them destroyed one by one, and I realized that here all things bright and good would be broken, but more would come, and as long as light and dark strive here, here I will stay.

"After Gondolin fell my spirit returned to the Land of Valar, though I believe a part of my brain is still under the cliff where I fell and the Eagle did not pick that up, and I was given a new body, and for a while I breathed anew the air of my homeland and was glad, but though all were filled with mirth my heart became heavy again when I saw that not all who fell in Gondolin had the same fate. Some were trapped in the Hall of Mandos, and remain as wondering spirits, and one, whom I love better than all others, had become so weary of the world that he chose to part with it forever, and the Valar granted his wish, and ours is a parting like that of Melian and Luthien the fair...I do not want to speak his name, for the pain is still too great for me, but for this loss, the lights of the Blessed Realm is dimmed for me, and I chose to come to this land again, alone of the Eldar in Valinor, and ally myself with the children of the High King."

"I perceive that such a parting is at hand for Arwen Undomiel and her father, and I wish to stay with her here if I may be of comfort. I have tended her grandfather when he was but a child, and so perhaps, I will tend hers. I still have power, that I know. I will not choose a mortal life as she may well do, but I will use all the power I have until I wear out and fade away into the night, and then perhaps I shall see the one of whom I cannot speak beyond the confines of this world. 

“But perhaps, Bilbo, perhaps you will see him in the Undying Land again, even though I have lost him, and may not meet him until this world ends.

“And if so even as Finduilas my mother's kin had spoken to her people, so I say unto thee, ‘Tell The Lord of the Fountain that Glorfindel is here’, for since he passed away I have lost faith in both water and music, and neither the sundering sea nor the hymns in white Tirion can save me now.”